Generlas Die In Bed

Dear Gladys,
It seems as though things have gotten ten times worse. We had a raid two days ago and the lives lost were unimaginable. Last time, we laughed at how I killed a Hun as you thought it wasn't a real murder. In this raid my colleague killed our captain because of a petty reason. If he had not died(my colleague) and he had been caught, he would have been charged with war crime. But what is the difference between what he did and what I did? Does it make the difference that one murder was to a Hun and the other was to one of our men?If it does, why should it? Clark(one of us) had someone who loved him and so did Karl(the hun) Both were men fighting for their country and what they were told is right. Should one's death be treated differently simply because of nationality? I am excuriatingly tired of the blurred lines between reality and fiction in this hell hole. One of the new recruits died, burned alive actually. A terrible sight to percieve really.Anderson-our religious fanatic-disappeared not long after Fry shut him up for praying. Maybe Fry should have let him be. Fry, I guess is one of the victims of jokes life plays. First he kills Clark and then he clings to me when his own life is in danger. I should gave helped him,maybe, maybe not. Its hard in war.
During break, I stayed with this lady who also had two sons at war, I wondered to myself if they were alive. She took good care of my injured feet though and for awhile I was back in civilization. But alas it was but a break from my reality. She said to take care of my feet when I left, in mind I said "Take care of your heart when your sons don't return".
Yours Truly,
Protagonist

{Lesson Learned}

"A friend asked me once, "What would you do if i betrayed your trust?" I replied "Trusting you was my choice, betraying it is yours."

Most people call their mistakes, experiences. They say it is helped them know and recognize things like that in future. But they never call them "mistakes". I on the other hand am prone to believe that mistakes and experiences are two different things. I say this because of personal experiences with mistakes.

I trusted a guy once and, No, he didn't break my heart. He broke my trust and that for me is something much worse. I heard once, that betrayal in every relationship is ineveitable, beit marriage,friendship e.t.c, ofcourse though I am sure there are exceptions even if in very rare cases. He chose to be an enemy when I needed him the most and too side unreasonably with another set of people. I guess in the long run, it was a pointless fight and I wasnt mad at anybody but him. It was just the principal of the thing. Still I will not call trusting an experience, It was an outright flat mistake. There are no two ways about that.

I rather call my mistakes that;Mistakes rather than sugarcoat it and call them "experience". Accept what you know and change what you can.

Dear World...

http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlYDTHmfnI8

"I've come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terribly by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth"- Eco

Dear World,

I may not be best person out there but I'm the best me there is. They might say there is a wall that surrounds me but for those who are worth it, the wall can be penetrated though not fully broken. I may not know what I want but I do know what I don't want. I know where I'm coming from, I know where I want to go and everyday is a fight for that.I stay through to who I am and that is the most important thing. I try hard to live by integrity which i believe is " Not settling for anything less than what you know you deserve in relationships. Asking for what you want and need from others.Speaking your truth,even when you know it will create conflict or tension. Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values. Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe in-Annonymous". I believe respect is earned not given. So you being older does not automatically gurantee me respecting you. Respect yourself and I will respect you. I'm strong headed but atleast i stay true to my word. Age does not gurantee maturity. I am not the best christian but I am trying. I am random, playful and silly but when no one is watching I am observant. I can deal with haters because I have Likers, I dont gurantee everybody will love/like me neither do i believe I will love/like everybody but that's life. I believe Love is a word that is flung around but very rarely meant....(and there are many different kinds of love). I believe if you wake up and have nothing to be greatful for, you are living a messed up life.

This is part of me. You may not agree with it but I am here to stay and make a statment so:

World, Move Over Cos I ain't going Nowhere...

Yours Truly,

Me

AlonG In Awhile.../ Ideas That Surround My Life

I'll Be Along In A While
By Ray Hansell.....

http://http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFSI9X6R1sE

So much to learn

So much to see

So much to know

What do i want to be?

Someday I'll love

Someday I'll grow old

Someday maybe

My story will be told

But I'll go slowly

I'll take it easy

For I am just a child

I know the world will wait

For it all will take me awhile....

Finding a poem i really like is not an easy task for me but coming across this one, i knew I'd met my match. Why? Because apart from agreeing with my point of view and the way i see things, it also contradicts them. Example: "I know the world will wait..." I know the world will not wait, because it doesn't wait for anybody. However in a different context whereby I am the difference and the change in a particular area, i do hope the world will wait. It's a whole big paradox(that's what's great about it).

But all in all, i do hope my story will be worth telling someday and most of all i wish that if i ever have a chance when am older to see my life as a movie, it will merit watching.

Just For One Night

Just for one night, I'll pretend you don't exist. Just for one night, I'll take off running and not have you on mind. I'll let the pain overwhelm me to the point where stopping is not an option because the reflief would just be plain wrong. For one night, I'll listen to everybody talk and tell me how foolish i was to come back to you.

For one night, I'll consider leaving you. Leaving behind three years of my life and finally admit it was a waste. But at least i would have admitted it and would have been ready to face the future, that, they say is the first step. Just for one night , i would refuse to find a excuse that covers everything you've done. I would not fight for you and i would not share any of my tears for you because i would realize it was useful water going to waste.

But it would only be for one night. After that night, my mind would return to the way you have set it to be; fighting and crying for you but never willing to give you up. That night, never would i mention to you.But somewhere in the misguided mindset you have given me, the memory of the freedom would remain. Just for that night.

Mu$ic SpeakS

mUsic = Life. It doesn't matter what kind of music it is; pop,rock,country,traditional,hip-hop,techno e.t.c Whatever it is, music has a soothing power of the soul and body. Regardless of your age or gender, there is something out there for everyone to listen to that completely and totally sets them on another level completely. MusiC is a matter of opinion, so no one can really judge what is good and what is not to another person.

Another thing is the mood someone is in. Some types of music improve a depressed mood, others put you into one. A song that makes you dance puts you in a happy moon. But moving on from just music; instruments, just playing automatically put you into a trans-like state. Saxophones/pianoes/guitars and many other instruments too. I personally can't blame any instrument, never had the patience to learn one but i am appericative of those who can.

Beats are an important mark in music. If the lyrics don't make sense to a listener, the beats do.

The Point is mUsic has power beyond our control and if we listen carefully, it has an answer to most problems.

"When words fail, music speaks."

QuoteS & My Interpretations

I Can see the beginnings of my rainbow but i know there's still a lot of rain left.

Sometimes the grades on our assignments don't matter as much as our answers.

Oscar Wilde: Probably One of the most sarcastic and blunt writers that ever lived. The quote literally speaks for itself but my opinion of it is; for every dream there is price and a consequence. When we dream we see things that we know we want and can achieve but people do not see this and then we are seen as unrealistic. Like the quotes says "our punishment is that we see the dawn(the outcome of our dreams) before the rest of the world.
I think I will take that punishment and live out my dreams.

Ralph Waldo Emerson's quotes above just about somes up everything i belive as a person. Emerson was eesayist and philosopher among other things and while his job may seem medicore to many, his impact of quotes like this will probably last a lifetime.