Generlas Die In Bed

Dear Gladys,
It seems as though things have gotten ten times worse. We had a raid two days ago and the lives lost were unimaginable. Last time, we laughed at how I killed a Hun as you thought it wasn't a real murder. In this raid my colleague killed our captain because of a petty reason. If he had not died(my colleague) and he had been caught, he would have been charged with war crime. But what is the difference between what he did and what I did? Does it make the difference that one murder was to a Hun and the other was to one of our men?If it does, why should it? Clark(one of us) had someone who loved him and so did Karl(the hun) Both were men fighting for their country and what they were told is right. Should one's death be treated differently simply because of nationality? I am excuriatingly tired of the blurred lines between reality and fiction in this hell hole. One of the new recruits died, burned alive actually. A terrible sight to percieve really.Anderson-our religious fanatic-disappeared not long after Fry shut him up for praying. Maybe Fry should have let him be. Fry, I guess is one of the victims of jokes life plays. First he kills Clark and then he clings to me when his own life is in danger. I should gave helped him,maybe, maybe not. Its hard in war.
During break, I stayed with this lady who also had two sons at war, I wondered to myself if they were alive. She took good care of my injured feet though and for awhile I was back in civilization. But alas it was but a break from my reality. She said to take care of my feet when I left, in mind I said "Take care of your heart when your sons don't return".
Yours Truly,
Protagonist

{Lesson Learned}

"A friend asked me once, "What would you do if i betrayed your trust?" I replied "Trusting you was my choice, betraying it is yours."

Most people call their mistakes, experiences. They say it is helped them know and recognize things like that in future. But they never call them "mistakes". I on the other hand am prone to believe that mistakes and experiences are two different things. I say this because of personal experiences with mistakes.

I trusted a guy once and, No, he didn't break my heart. He broke my trust and that for me is something much worse. I heard once, that betrayal in every relationship is ineveitable, beit marriage,friendship e.t.c, ofcourse though I am sure there are exceptions even if in very rare cases. He chose to be an enemy when I needed him the most and too side unreasonably with another set of people. I guess in the long run, it was a pointless fight and I wasnt mad at anybody but him. It was just the principal of the thing. Still I will not call trusting an experience, It was an outright flat mistake. There are no two ways about that.

I rather call my mistakes that;Mistakes rather than sugarcoat it and call them "experience". Accept what you know and change what you can.

Dear World...

http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlYDTHmfnI8

"I've come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terribly by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth"- Eco

Dear World,

I may not be best person out there but I'm the best me there is. They might say there is a wall that surrounds me but for those who are worth it, the wall can be penetrated though not fully broken. I may not know what I want but I do know what I don't want. I know where I'm coming from, I know where I want to go and everyday is a fight for that.I stay through to who I am and that is the most important thing. I try hard to live by integrity which i believe is " Not settling for anything less than what you know you deserve in relationships. Asking for what you want and need from others.Speaking your truth,even when you know it will create conflict or tension. Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values. Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe in-Annonymous". I believe respect is earned not given. So you being older does not automatically gurantee me respecting you. Respect yourself and I will respect you. I'm strong headed but atleast i stay true to my word. Age does not gurantee maturity. I am not the best christian but I am trying. I am random, playful and silly but when no one is watching I am observant. I can deal with haters because I have Likers, I dont gurantee everybody will love/like me neither do i believe I will love/like everybody but that's life. I believe Love is a word that is flung around but very rarely meant....(and there are many different kinds of love). I believe if you wake up and have nothing to be greatful for, you are living a messed up life.

This is part of me. You may not agree with it but I am here to stay and make a statment so:

World, Move Over Cos I ain't going Nowhere...

Yours Truly,

Me